Wonderfully Horrible Netflix Instant Films: “Dragonslayer”

People often criticize the selection of movies on Netflix Instant. That's because 80% of them are either straight to video cinematic turds and documentaries about food or Nazis. There are some good films like The Graduate or Big Trouble in Little China and the rest are absolutely wonderful crap movies. In order to achieve a so-bad-it's-good rank it must not be a joke, like say a Troma movie. The filmmakers have to have had the intention of making a good film and hilariously failed. The more serious, the better. This week I'll tell you about the seminal 1980's sword and sorcery epic Dragonslayer.

Dragonslayer is the tale of a wizard's apprentice with big puffy hair played by Peter McNichol. You might remember him as Yanuch from Ghostbusters 2, (the guy with the weird accent). The movie was trying to capitalize on the success of role playing games like Dungeons and Dragons, movies like Conan the Barbarian, and other things that appeal to nerds and chronic masturbators. When his wizard master dies on the way to defeat an evil dragon, it's up to 'ol White man 'fro to save the day with his magic crystal necklace. This particular dragon has been feeding off the kingdom's virgins for years and the king decides that they need to conserve that precious natural resource. The only problem is that Peter doesn't know what the hell he's doing. His master hadn't given him the instruction manual for the crystal. Basically he keeps screwing up. The effects are spectacularly awful, even by 80's standards. A scene in which McNichol consults the ghost of the wizard in a lake of fire has matte composite lines thick enough to be listed in the credits. The dragon looks like a rubber puppet, not unlike the love child of Yoda and one of the Skeksis from The Dark Crystal.

Still, for pure 80's magic fun it doesn't get much better.