Jennifer Lopez Outright Swimsuit MILFtastic for Vogue Magazine Pictorial

Jenny from the block just did something to my... well, never mind.

The point is that uber-Latina MILF Jennifer Lopez looks ridiculously hot in her new photo pictorial in the current edition of Vogue magazine. Now, J-Lo tends to take great photos, you don't get to be worth a bazillion dollars as a diva without being photogenic, but these poolside sweaty snaps from famed celebrity photographer Mario Testino are just outright gonadial butter churners (that's a reference to the cream rising to the top, take a peek at these pics and you'll get it). Enjoy.

 

Coty Alvarez Turns ‘Gran Hermano’ Fame Into En Fuego Topless Pictorial for Maxim

 

I don't need to get into the background of why Big Brother is so so much better overseas, or why dudes actually watch the show, glued to the tube, to see their nation's hotties barely dressed, or sometimes undressed, trying to win however it is you actually win Big Brother, then awaiting the ultimate prize of seeing those same sextastic reality stars take it all off in the local gentleman's magazines. It's a cultural phenomenon that must be acknowledged as awesome.

And always deserving acknowledgement, the latest and greatest Gran Hermano graduate from the Argentinean edition of the show, Coty Alvarez, who was the super bikini hottie during the season of the show, and has no gracious taken off that bikini, thrown on some sudsy water, and opened herself up to wide-eyed viewing in Maxim Argentina. And she's a keeper. A wet hot booty-full bandonkadonk keeper.

Just imagine a world where reality show stars take their clothes off for the cameras and you have a world where reality shows suddenly become watchable. Enjoy.

Diane Kruger Kicks Off Cannes With Red Carpet Hotness

I like Diane Kruger.

She's the perfect sort of international film starlet that works on any red carpet on any film festival in the world, and just looks all kinds of hot without looking like she's trying to hard. She seems kind of wild without being high maintenance, intelligent without being too snooty. In short, yes, I'd allow myself to be physically assaulted by her for hours on end.

The Cannes Film Festival is kicking off this week which means a bunch of super self-important snobby types will talk about film as an art form that the masses don't quite understand, mock all the films we tend to love, and award prizes to films about a man who spends twenty years searching for his lost loafer during some country's revolutionary era. And that's all well and good and important I'm sure, but far more important are the super sextastic celebrities who will soon be lighting up the red carpets across the city in the coming days. And Diane Kruger is a sweet way to kick things off. Enjoy.

The Dictator ‘Murders’ Elisabetta Canalis off the Coast of France

I have to hand it to Sacha Baron Cohen, he's a flipping promotional genius. His various publicity stunts promoting The Dictator, coming out today in theaters have been borderline nuts, but very funny, not the least of which including dumping Kim Jong Il's ashes on a very perturbed Ryan Seacrest at the Oscars.

But today's stunt takes the cake.

Knowing that all peeping paparazzi lenses are in Cannes this week for the annual film festival, and telescopically patrolling the high-end yachts parked off shore, 'The Dictator' staged a scene with uber-hottie Elisabetta Canalis decked out in a hot bikini on her sweet body, but apparently not finding the Dictator to be manly enough for her tastes and mocking his little dictator. At which point The Dictator kills her, wraps her in a bag, and throws her overboard, all while the cameras are snapping from the shoreline and nearby boats.

Now that is funny. Enjoy.

Megan Fox Birthday Hotness and Other Fine Things to Ogle

Heavy Petting
Miley Cyrus shows stomach while carrying a puppy Read More »
$urprise
Ke$ha shows a sexier side Read More »
Birthday Suits
Megan Fox has a birthday and takes the cake Read More »

Megan Fox celebrates her birthday, we celebrate by ogling her body. (Celebuzz)

Miley Cyrus flaunts her flat stomach and makes me jealous of a puppy. (Idolator)

Ke$ha cleans up and shows a sexier side than we've seen from her. (HuffPo)

Elin Nordegren is single again, looks like it's time to buy deodorant. (FoxNews)

Kim Kardashian says those shoes did help tone her asstastic, but the Feds disagree. (TMZ)

Girl in a beer can bikini, holding a beer can sword, bacon encrusted shield. (CollegeHumor)

Rachel Uchitel officially joins the ranks of MILF. (GossipCop)

Courtney Stodden Bikini Pictures Channel Bo Derek’s Classic ’10′ Performance

I know some dudes who keep up body building masters posters in their place and I guess it inspires them to workout harder or pump more iron to more closely resemble their heroes, but I can't help but think it just kind of makes them look weaker by visual comparison when you see the actual greats along their wall.

Bo Derek was the perfect '10'. Perhaps not the original, but she perfected it and owned it in the late 70's, early 80's, not just by being super amazingly hot, but by showing off her sextastic on the big screen in films such as the classic 10 and Bolero and Tarzan Legend of Greystoke and a bunch of other, albeit mostly craptastic films (though 10 really is a good film you must check out if not seen before), but with Bo Derek running nekkid through them, they're very worthy of receiving a thumbs up. She's the master.

And now comes along our jailbait friend Courtney Stodden, in a bikini, channeling Bo Derek running along the beach in her famous scene from 10 and while the underaged Courtney Stodden has her own attributes, that's s a nice way of putting it, I can't help but feeling like I do when my workout fiend buddy who still has chicken ankles stands next to his posters of former Mr. Universes. The comparison does not help. Enjoy.

Latina Singer Thalia Brings the Veteran Cleavage to Bare at Spanish People’s ‘Most Beautiful’ Awards

Okay, despite the fact that the 40-year old hottie Latina pop star Thalia has sold like a bazillion records in the Spanish-speaking world, starred in numerous of our favorite telenovelas, is one of the biggest TV celebrity personalities in Mexico, and has looked amazing in a skimpy dress for the past two decades, there's still a decent chance you'd not heard of her.

But, now you've seen her and her twin-melon potential, courtesy of last night's People Magazine, Spanish Edition, 50 Most Beautiful People awards, which, natch, they don't hand out to just anybody, you've got to be sweet on the eyes, as Thalia continues to be even as she matures into a veteran hottie. La mas bonita. Enjoy.

Check Out Thalia in Her Bikini Music Video »