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It's the first weekend in April, 1993, and on that glorious first Sunday afternoon of the month, dad and I headed out to see the new Danny DeVito directed film, Jack the Bear, which we both mistakenly thought was a comedy. Lucky for us in hindsight (more on Jack the Bear later) the film was sold out.

We weren't about to leave, so we have a quick look at what else is playing. The new Burt Reynolds film, Cop and a Half, directed by The Fonz, was starting around the same time. My dad's love of both Burt and The Fonz clearly blinded him and he sold me on seeing what looked like an awful film.

Sure enough it was. I don't recall my father or I laughing at anything in the nearly empty theater showing Cop and a Half to a dozen other people presumably also sold out of Jack the Bear. The whole endeavor was embarrassing to everyone in attendance as there's a scene in this PG, ostensibly family friendly film where Burt and the small black child he's looking after compare penis sizes. This is real. It really happens. It was 1993 and things were different.

Not long after it was released on video, I caught up with Jack the Bear. Turns out it wasn't a comedy, but rather a depressing film where Danny DeVito gets drunk all the time and his youngest son gets abducted by local child molester Gary Sinise. It's not funny, it's not fun. Don't ever see it. And don't see Cop and a Half, either.

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