Weird Crap Sold On Coupon Sites: Couples Bedroom Restraints

It seems that every time I go on to Groupon to see what new deals they have there is more and more sex toys available. I don't know what kind of thrift shop pervert gets their sex equipment at a discount on Groupon but there are obviously many. With the sudden interest in BDSM because of the mommy porn book series 50 Shades of Grey, even the most boring housewife is now interested into being tied up. That's where the Couple's Bedroom Restraints come in. The description reads,

"Kit allows you to strap down a partner's ankles and wrists with comfortable cuffs and straps that fit most standard-sized mattresses."

There is nothing wrong with this contraption, per se. I just find it incredibly gauche that someone would buy it on Groupon. I mean, just go to a smutty porn shop by the airport and buy it full price like a man. Or just buy it from some sleazy website. Yeesh. People have no class.