Weinstein Assistant Claims To Have Been His Official Semen Cleaner

Talk about a milkmaid. Amirite fellas. Harvey Weinstein's former assistant Sandeep Rehal is getting in on the sue-y action by claiming that Weinstein committed a grab bag of sexual offenses towards her, which don't necessarily read as illegal, but do read as hilarious. Anong other thing, Rehal claims that she recreated investigation scenes from Law and Order: SVU every time Weinstein blew his load on his couch. She would clean up his jizz stains and collect the condoms strewn about his office - with the second duty being not unlike a Hollywood insider easter egg hunt. Complete with the creamy Cadbury filling.

But Rehal's résumé goes far beyond Official Jizz Cleaner To The Stars, and she also claims to have been called lewd names by Weinstein, and to have been fondled in the car as he whispered sweet nothings into her ear like "What's wrong Sandeep, is the tampon up too far today?" Okay now I see how he got the ladies. These allegations read like child's play compared the information we already know about Weinstein, and his reps are already vehemently denying the information. To what avail I don't know, since the jig's pretty much up for Weinstein:

Mr. Weinstein categorically denies these claims and his lawyers will respond in the appropriate legal forum with evidence proving they are untrue. The evidence will show these claims for money are in the realm of a science fiction movie.

You know, the kind of science fiction movies in which the main character requires Caverject shots to get a boner before creaming his corn all over an ingénue's wishful face. People will continue to throw allegations at disgraced Hollywood stars currently plummeting from the sky, and we can only hope that they're all as colorful as o' sticky hands Rehal's.

Photo Credit: Splash News / Pacific Coast News

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