The “Jersey Shore Massacre” Looks Awesome!

One of the worst cancers to appear in the colon of American culture in the last ten years is The Jersey Shore. The MTV program that brought us Snooki, Jwoww, and The Situation is possibly the worst show in the history of broadcast programming.  Maybe it's that I live in New York and have to deal with these jagweeds every day. Or perhaps it's just my respect for reading and not having herpes. Maybe it's too much to ask that we always have uplifting shows with cultural merit. But do they have to be...that bad? I know that I often felt the urge to commit acts of violence against those greasy turd blossoms. Luckily, I can live my fantasies of taking a belt sander to Pauly D's face through a fine new film called The Jersey Shore Massacre.

Not only can we watch these "Jersey Shore types" get what's coming to them, it also has the triumphant return of Ron Jeremy to the screen.