Stupid Crap Sold On Coupon Sites: “Doki Doki Breast Massager”

Now, I'm not a woman. That's obvious. I barely know what the ladies like in the bedroom...at least in theory. I can see why Groupon sells a veritable sex shop's worth of vibrators. I get that and understand the appeal. What man can compete with a tiny vibrating rabbit? But the Doki Doki Breast Massager is a little weird. I know that a lot of ladies like their breasts played with. But do they really want to wear a vibrating bra? That strikes me as uncomfortable and kind of annoying. The advertising says,

"Vibrating, textured massagers are worn inside the bra, where they contour to the breasts & provide sensual stimulation & a cleavage boost."

The manufacturers are trying to make the Doki Doki sound more appealing by saying that in addition to vibrating your boobs it also provides support. Oh good, so you have proper lift when a battery powered vibrator starts shaking your breasteses like an uncomfortable back massager set to pain.