Stormy Daniels No Longer In Trouble For Sexual Acts At Ohio Strip Club

In the wee hours of the morning, a porn star was arrested at an Ohio strip club. If you're from Ohio, this is old hat, and you can feel free to move on to another post. For the rest of you, get ready for a tale of intrigue, mystery, and probably hepatitis. Stormy Daniels - the big-titted porn star who allegedly banged President Trump and is currently suing him - was arrested at a strip club in Columbus, OH on Thursday for touching patrons while performing. Thanks to the state's Community Defense Act:

...An employee who regularly appears naked or semi-nude as part of a sexually related business is not permitted to touch anyone who is not a family member while undressed at said business.

Family members only in Ohio. Not just spouses, but family members. Very incest-eresting. "Touch" is an understatement for what Daniels was doing on stage, and the affidavit detailing her arrest reads like a softcore porn script written by a nymphomaniac fourteen-year-old boy. Daniels began groping patrons as well as forcing their faces into her tits, and the real kicker is that a group of undercover cops got the Stormy Daniels treatment before arresting her ass. Get tested. Here's just a sampling of what you can find in the full court documents:

Ms. Clifford (Daniels' real last name) leaned over, grabbed Det. Keckley's head and began smacking her face with her bare breasts and holding her face between her breasts against her chest. Ms. Clifford then moved down the stage where Ofc. Praither was standing and began fondling Ofc. Praither's buttock and breasts.

Those are what we call fringe benefits of being on the force. But really, get tested. Daniels' lawyer Michael Avenatti wasn't having the arrest, and within a matter of hours got the charges against Daniels dismissed on the grounds that she does not regularly appear nude at that particular strip club. It doesn't help that, according to Buzzfeed, one of the arresting officers was previously accused of entrapment. Cool cool cool. Anyone else still stuck on the fact that you can only titty face fuck family members in Ohio?

She was arrested for allegedly allowing a customer to touch her while on stage in a non sexual manner! Are you kidding me? They are devoting law enforcement resources to sting operations for this? There has to be higher priorities!!! #SetUp #Basta

— Michael Avenatti (@MichaelAvenatti) July 12, 2018

I am pleased to report that the charges against my client @stormydaniels have been dismissed in their entirety (below motion was just granted). I want to thank Joe Gibson & his colleagues at the prosecutors ofc for their professionalism starting with our first call early this am. pic.twitter.com/xHPSWsyqM2

— Michael Avenatti (@MichaelAvenatti) July 12, 2018

Photo Credit: Franklin County Sherriff's Office / Backgrid USA