‘Slashy Souls’ Isn’t The Terrible Dark Souls Spin-Off We Deserve, or the One We Need Right Now

The hardened Ego-gamers among you will know how notorious licensed games are. When the latest AAA movie hits, you can bet that a game-of-the-film won't be damn far behind. You can also bet that it'll suck ass.

That's because the name alone sells these things by the million. So the developers can safely knock out something piss-poor in a half hour, then go back to scratching their asses and rolling in the money they know they're about to make. Not that I'm a bitter old dude jaded by Superman 64 and its ilk.

Anywho, there's another thing in video games that's usually as bad: the spin-off. When a franchise/character switches genre or otherwise makes a huge change to the formula, the results are often completely and utterly craptacular. True enough, the same concept has led to ravenous success-machines/raw awesome like Mario Kart, but that's a rare thing. Much more often, you'll end up with ballaches like Slashy Souls.

What we have here is a Dark Souls-flavored endless runner. I don't know why, or how, or who, what or when come to that, but here it is. It features areas, hazards and creatures from the series, and almost sounds kinda cool… until you notice the huge eff-off ‘presented by GameStop' on the title screen. And the fact that this is just cynical bastardry designed to make us pre-order Dark Souls III.

It's available now on the App Store, Kotaku reports. Don't all rush at once, gents.