Shaq Shoots His Shot In IG Model’s Inbox

Shaquille O’Neil’s has never been a graceful shooter. Whenever we crumple new sexual harassment workplace policy print outs into paper balls to toss at the waste basket we always yell Kobe, not Shaq. And it’s not because we’re attempting to emulate Bryant’s careless attitude about sexual misconduct. Just trying to replicate his awesome athletic shooting skill in an office setting. Shaq is completely aware of his incompetence with controlling the correct trajectory in order to be considered a skilled marksman on the court. That hasn’t stopped the giant from testing his accuracy with hot teens on the internet. Because even if you miss, you still have your millions to fall back on to heal those hurt feelings. 

One of these days, famous men will learn that showing up in the DMs of a young hottie is a recipe for public embarrassment. But until that day we will continue to be amused by people like Shaquille O'Neal, the NBA great who is out there striking up private conversations with young hotties. It began when Roxanne Watlington posted a pic of Shaq playing a DJ set. He replied by letting her know that he's not just a basketball god and an aspiring musician, he's also a lawman. And he sent the devastatingly handsome pics to prove it. 

I believe both parties are in the wrong here. Shaq is wrong for being ready to risk it all and not understanding every hot piece of ass with an internet connection is looking to turn into a celebrity overnight like some sort of cell phone Cinderella. Curving a celebrity sports star is currency when it comes to most millennials. And she’s wrong for not understanding that Shaq is also a black cop. According to the internet blue and black lives matter remember. But her goal was obviously trying to put Shaq on suicide watch from the embarrassment of being exposed. 

_{Photo Credit: Instagram}