Shania Twain – Man, I Feel Like A Trump Supporter

A post shared by Shania Twain (@shaniatwain) on Apr 19, 2018 at 1:08pm PDT

Chart-topping country songstress and Restalin attack survivor victim Shania Twain "gol' darn gone and done it" by stating in an interview with The Guardian that she would have voted for Trump had she been an American instead of Canadian. A country singer voting Republican. Let's all try to wrap our minds around that one. A country singer. Voting. Republican. Next thing you'll tell me is that an NBA player infected his pregnant girlfriend with stripper AIDS. Khloé and Tristan. Allegedly - according to be. Anyway, I just won't believe it. Not for a second. Twain stated:

I would have voted for him because, even though he was offensive, he seemed honest. Do you want straight or polite? Not that you shouldn’t be able to have both. If I were voting, I just don’t want bullshit. I would have voted for a feeling that it was transparent. And politics has a reputation of not being that, right?

Twain is making her return from a fifteen-year hiatus brought on by Lyme disease and trauma related to her stepfather beating and molesting her throughout her childhood. Step-incest in country music. I just won't believe it. Not for a second. She said that he began mistreating her:

...Around the age of 10. I feel the sexual abuse goes hand in hand with the physical and psychological abuse when it’s somebody you know. I learned to block it out. Abusers need to manipulate you, whether it’s before or after, and what I said to myself is: ‘OK, there’s something wrong with this person and that person is not well.’

Normally Twain's legitimately harrowing #MeToo moment would draw knee-jerk support, but since she stated that she would have hypothetically voted for Trump, she's a dumb bitch. And let's be honest. She wanted it. Twain's problem is that country fans aren't the ones fueling her comeback, and in fact, Like many of you, I'm pretty sure the majority of them assumed she died five decades ago. Twain found a second coming thanks to a gay community that can't say no to a leopard cape and matching bra. She even guest-judged last week's RuPaul's Drag Race. If she's banking on those gay dollars, this would be an instance of one needing to know one's audience.

A post shared by Shania Twain (@shaniatwain) on Apr 19, 2018 at 9:31am PDT

Which, interestingly, Twain now claims that she does. Interviewers are motivated by clicks rather than quality, and I wouldn't put it past The Guardian's Simon Hattenstone for putting a buzz-worthy twist on one of Twain's answers. That's what she insinuated happened in a series of repenting tweets:

I would like to apologise to anybody I have offended in a recent interview with the Guardian relating to the American President. The question caught me off guard. As a Canadian, I regret answering this unexpected question without giving my response more context (1/4)

— Shania Twain (@ShaniaTwain) April 22, 2018

I am passionately against discrimination of any kind and hope it’s clear from the choices I have made, and the people I stand with, that I do not hold any common moral beliefs with the current President (2/4)

— Shania Twain (@ShaniaTwain) April 22, 2018

I was trying to explain, in response to a question about the election, that my limited understanding was that the President talked to a portion of America like an accessible person they could relate to, as he was NOT a politician (3/4)

— Shania Twain (@ShaniaTwain) April 22, 2018

My answer was awkward, but certainly should not be taken as representative of my values nor does it mean I endorse him. I make music to bring people together. My path will always be one of inclusivity, as my history shows. (4/4)

— Shania Twain (@ShaniaTwain) April 22, 2018

The moral of this story is that there are no more important opinions in the world than those of celebrities, and we should hang on every word they say and murder them if they say something we don't agree with. Thanks for teaching us another valuable lesson Internet.