Selena Gomez Back in Black Sextastic for Milan Fashion Week

It's always fashion week somewhere in the world, and while my very favorite Cleveland Fashion Week remains sparsely attended, places like Milan are hopping with the happening set, including the likes of our highly belused Latina diva Selena Gomez, in some kind of wrapped black strap dress that showed an ample amount of cleavage and let to some serious unbuckling type fantasies.

I'm not saying I know one iota about fashion, I am saying that Selena looks like she would if her angry parents were banging at my door demanding to see their daughter and I had to cover her modesty up quickly with duct tape. I'm that kind of gentleman. Selena, call me, I have fashion forward ideas. Enjoy.