ScarJo Sells Snot Rag For A Good Cause

I have dirty tissues filled with DNA by my computer desk that will never reach anywhere near as much as the one Scarlett Johansson sold on eBay. I’m not even sure how selling something like that doesn’t violate at least one policy on eBay. If you were in doubt that celebrities aren't treated like gods amongst men, that myth you believed has just been debunked. Scarlett’s snotty tissue is valued $5,300. What a bargain. Screw what the rest of the world thinks of America, I’m proud to be apart of a country where an absurd online auction like this can take place. Questionable sales like these in the name of charity really couldn’t be replicated or reproduced anywhere else on the planet but here.

A tissue used by Scarlett Johansson has been sold for $5,300 on auction website eBay.

Johansson appeared on NBC's "Tonight" talk show Wednesday to promote her new movie, "The Spirit." The actress said she'd caught a cold from co-star Samuel L. Jackson, and felt her illness had value because it had been passed down from one celebrity to another.

Host Jay Leno then handed her a tissue, and Johansson announced she would sell it on eBay to raise money for the hunger relief charity USA Harvest. She blew twice, depositing some lipstick and mucus.

After seeing that Scarlett can sell a tissue she sneezed in for $5K, I feel inspired to figure out how much I’m able fetch for a slightly used blow up doll so I too can donate proceeds to kids in need. I just need to figure out how to get famous first so people see the value in purchasing item with my various discarded excretions attached.

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA / Splash News / Getty Images