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Sam Robeson - April 18, 2018
Sarah Hyland did her best to be America's next body-shamed probably bulimic sweetheart when she slammed h8ers of some fake disease she bravely came out with almost a year ago. But then Demi Lovato came along and was somehow inexplicably able to snatch both the eating disorder crown and the super duper fatty fat fat crown, and then Selena Gomez snatched the fake disease crown - previously held by Lady Gaga - leaving Hyland as just another attention-starved skank with an iPhone, millions of bot followers, a sparkle in her eye, and nothing to offer this world in any capacity.
But the Modern Family actress isn't setting into her former child star ice floe without a fight, and recently took to her Instagram story to pinch her tits while not-so-subtly jutting out her clavicles. The main focus of these pics is most likely the latter in Hyland's eyes, but I guess some people are able to get off to a bobble head feeling itself up, so here we are.
Another stipulation of any good shameless fame ho Insta pic is relinquishing oneself of any vehicle. It's why so many stars reluctantly ::wink:: held their own wet t-shirt contests for ALS during the Ice Fuck-it Challenge. Hyland hilariously states in her pic that some makeup artist named Allan made her purple nurple herself. Now if only Allan would make her do more stuff Hyland might have a chance as a late-to-the-game MeThree!-er. I'm honestly trying to help her out at this point. Consider this free advice Sarah. Get molested. No need to thank me. Just go chase your dreams.
Photo Credit: Instagram / Pacific Coast News
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