Ron Jeremy Almost A Rapist; But Not Really

Ron Jeremy is a legend to anyone who appreciates 480p low-resolution VHS quality porn, to everyone else with a decent moral compass and higher standards when it comes to resolution preferences he’s fat filth. Recently the half hobbit half overweight werewolf was accused of sexual assault which shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone. A terribly aged porn star forced into advertisements for penis enlargement instead of actual penetration may feel entitled to tight teen box from time to time. But he’s off the hook after a woman who accused him of sexual assault refused to follow through with filing charges.

Ron Jeremy's in the clear for a sexual assault case in Washington State. Ron won't face any criminal charges after a woman accused him of sexual assault in September 2017. The rep wouldn't tell us why they chose not to file charges.

The woman -- who worked as a "rock girl" promoting a local radio station -- claimed the porn legend grabbed her ass and sucked on her nipples after she agreed to let him sign her breast. She also claimed he tapped her vagina over her underwear ...

It’s important for men to remember that just because an upstanding wholesome woman wants you to sign her cleavage doesn’t mean she’s asking for it. I wish I could use that same “I wasn’t asking for it” when deciding to stroll through a hungry tiger cage. No one should tread that close to danger and not expect the worst. Same rules can be applied when it comes to washed up porn stars like Ron Jeremy. He looks like a transient and I’m willing to bet my last buck he smells like skid row in person. Maybe if this “rock girl” wasn’t chasing cool points and “likes” on Instagram with a signed boob groupie move she would have realized the danger of inviting an animal like Ron around her titties. Tiffany Haddish warned everyone.

Photo Credit: Getty Images