Real Housewife Luann de Lesseps A Real Alcoholic?

We don't really cover Real Housewives crap on here because it's a can of worms that I believe need to freed into the wild or just put out of their misery, but when an old dried up fake royal beats an officer in a hotel room and almost cops to being an alcoholic, I listen. Just the kind of friend I am. Eighty-five-year-old Real Housewives Of New York star Luann de Lesseps opens up to laxatives and raspberry ketones sales rep Dr. Oz in a new interview, where she provides details about completely accidentally attacking an officer in a hotel room during a particularly festive evening:

So what happened, this is the craziest thing. So what happened was they come now to arrest me. Now, I'm a drunk woman in a hotel room in my own hotel, but the wrong room, granted. So they come after me and I was drunk, so I wasn't equipped to handle it. And I got scared and I ran like a child to the bathroom. OK, and so I locked myself in the bathroom and then he tried to open the door, and he opened the door and then I closed the door and it hit him in the forehead. So that's battery that I did on a police officer.

So, she was then arrested for disorderly behavior and for resisting arrest. So, Dr. Oz exercises his medical prowess by attempting to diagnose Luann as a full-blown alcoholic -  not a diagnosis that really requires a professional. Is she a Real Housewife? Then yes she's an alcoholic and probably addicted to crazy pills pushed on her by Andy Cohen. Allegedly. But Luann remains coy with:

You know, it's a good question. I don't really know. I think that I'm a self-medicator, that's for sure. I think that I was using alcohol to numb my pain and my emotions until it didn't work for me anymore, until it got me into a lot of trouble.

When asked at what point Luann might decide to quit drinking completely, she responds:

You know, I don't know. I live in the moment. I live for today. For today it's just not drinking and I don't really want to drink right now. I don’t need it. I’m actually better without it, I’m so much better without it.

Alex I'll take "What are things practicing alcoholics say?" The Real Housewives are great because they keep the expectation as to what constitutes as "functioning" very low. It's why the saddest people in the world watch Bravo. There's always someone older, drunker, more narcissistic, more botched, and more dead on the inside than you. And you can find them at 9 pm ET/8 pm CT.

Photo Credit: Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office / Instagram