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Sam Robeson - June 14, 2018
Even if you don't know who Rachel Bloom is, if faced with a hypothetical like "Who would you rather be stranded with on a deserted island - Rachel Bloom or Neil Patrick Harris?" you would probably choose Bloom. Because Harris seems like a gigantic douche. Possibly one of the top ten biggest douches in Hollywood. And that's really, really saying something. Bloom is the bombastically plucky star of the series My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, which although lauded by critics, is watched by an average of four people a week and will end after its fourth season. But she also has awesome pornstar tits. Bloom - 1, Harris - 0.
The worlds of Bloom and Harris collided when Harris tweeted about her as she acted as a correspondent at the Tony Awards. Although Bloom was dressed like the coolest girl at handicap prom, her outfit wasn't the subject of Harris' douche tweet. Even though it should have been. Instead he used his douche son to basically call her a nobody while they watched the awards on TV:
Who is the woman in the top hat backstage at @TheTonyAwards? Gideon remarked that she says ‘like’ and ‘oh my god’ a lot. I’m confused...
Who is the woman in the top hat backstage at @TheTonyAwards? Gideon remarked that she says ‘like’ and ‘oh my god’ a lot. I’m confused...
— Neil Patrick Harris (@ActuallyNPH) June 11, 2018
There's nothing to say besides - douche. Major douche. The douchiest. Hopefully I'm getting "douche" SEO credit for this. If his tweet was directed at the likes of Chrissy Teigen or Amy Schumer he would have gotten the nauseating pithy clap back of the century and we'd by default have to be in his court. But Bloom simply responded:
I’m a big fan of yours. We’ve met numerous times and my husband, Dan Gregor, wrote for “How I Met Your Mother” for 5 years. Notably, he wrote the episode where your character finally meets his father.
I’m a big fan of yours. We’ve met numerous times and my husband, Dan Gregor, wrote for “How I Met Your Mother” for 5 years. Notably, he wrote the episode where your character finally meets his father.
— Rachel Bloom (@Racheldoesstuff) June 11, 2018
To which Harris, in dedication to his douchiness, responded:
Indeed! Well said. Thanks for the reminder. How was backstage?
Indeed! Well said. Thanks for the reminder. How was backstage?
— Neil Patrick Harris (@ActuallyNPH) June 11, 2018
DOUCHE. Afterward Bloom got the final say in a GQ interview, where she had some pretty cool shit to say about celeb douches who tweet:
Look, he’s not a writer, so his version of a Twitter joke is to just kind of… live-comment to Twitter followers with kind of random, unformed thoughts. And fame does that to you—where you think every kind of random, unformed thought is a gem, because you get 10,000 likes from it.
And that makes me scared about fame in general. The yes-men. Even if what you’re saying is, I don’t know, kind of weird or unoriginal, you’re still getting a lot of approval and dopamine surges for saying it.
I really, really hope that I can surround myself with people who will call me out on my shit, so that—even if I ever were to have 27 million Twitter followers—I would be just kind of… a person first, and a famous person second.
Luckily for Bloom, she really doesn't have to contend with the latter quite yet. But overall Bloom hit the nail on the head, and in her couthness and clarity, gave Harris no other option but to issue this apology:
Sincere apologies to @Racheldoesstuff for my Tony tweet. I failed to research her before pressing ‘send’, and what I thought was a funny comment in our living room must have been far from funny to read, backstage, mid show. As a performer and a parent, I should have know better.
Sincere apologies to @Racheldoesstuff for my Tony tweet. I failed to research her before pressing ‘send’, and what I thought was a funny comment in our living room must have been far from funny to read, backstage, mid show. As a performer and a parent, I should have know better.
— Neil Patrick Harris (@ActuallyNPH) June 13, 2018
Bloom then accepted his apology, but we all still know the truth. Harris is a douche. Such a douche. Douchy McDoucherson. Douche, party of Neil Patrick Harris. What do you get when Neil Patrick Harris walks into a bar? A douche in a bar. In conclusion, douche.
Photo Credit: Getty Images, Mr. Skin
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