Patrick Stewart Playing Bosley to Kristen Stewart and Company in ‘Charlie’s Angels’

By now you're probably aware that Charlie's Angels is getting a reboot, bringing a new century wokeness to a concept wherein women are indentured servants to a mysterious benefactor named Charlie. Charisma vacuum Kristen Stewart headlines the new trio, with Pitch Perfect 2's Elizabeth Banks at the helm and reportedly playing Bosley.

Well, not so fast there, Cheech, as according to The Hollywood Reporter, there's going to be more than one Bosley in this version and one of them is going to be played by The Emoji Movie's Patrick Stewart. Hot on the heels of one of his best performances in Logan, the veteran actor is now playing one of at least two Bosleys in this flick...

In a twist on the usual proceedings, the project seems to have multiple characters named Bosley, who in the past acted as the face of the enigmatic and never-seen owner of the detective agency, Charlie Townsend. Banks is set to play Bosley, with sources telling The Hollywood Reporter that Stewart is also playing a Bosley.

I don't get it, but then again, I don't get anything about this new adaptation of Charlie's Angels. There's no way to do that concept without it feeling as quaint as a 1950s ad where your doctor tells you to smoke Menthols because they're better for your throat.

Any way you slice it, nothing in Stewart's recent output can match the brilliance that is P Stew's Cowboy Classics...