Paris Hilton Had a Leak

According to unreliable media outlets reviewing the unreliable stories run in InTouch magazine, Kim Kardashian was the secret source of Paris Hilton boozy drunken slutty rich girl gossip during her time as Paris' lackey. This was before Ray J mixed urine and cum on her lumbar regions and turned her into a fabulous princess. Now that InTouch magazine has broken their one legit story ever with the Duggar molestations, they're trying to disavow the entire breadth of their past. This includes the minor ombudsman note that they completely concocted stories for the entire rest of their publication life. Since only really stupid people didn't question it, we all decided as a society to let it be semi-legal. Like professional wrestling or Presidential politics. Many are claiming that 'disloyal' ought to be added to the list of Kim Kardashian attributes. I'm good with the traditional money-grubbing porn star midget. If I'm adding any more adjectives, I'm going with conjunctivitis ass. Jackals don't have a word for acting like jackals.

Photo Credit: Instagram