Oops I Married My Dad

This is a family tree from a Tim Burton movie that was grown on the same set they shoot The Maury Povich Show on. Valerie Spruill, an Ohio woman, got a pretty big surprise when she learned the man she'd been married to was actually her father. Now, keep in mind I didn't say step-father, or adopted father, I said father. As in, she was married to her father. As in...Yeah. I have to go to a therapist twice a week because I learned that wrestling was fake. Imagine how many sessions Valerie is going to have to go after learning that she'd been going to bed with was the same man who used to put her to bed. Clearly this guy has a type.

Here's the worst part of the story for me. 'In 2004, an uncle told Valerie the rumors were true, and a DNA test confirmed it.' Which means that this guy knew his brother was playing Doctor with his daughter and kept his mouth shut until after the guy had died. It's not like telling a kid Santa Claus isn't really (sorry kids). I think it would've been okay for him to have broken to news to his niece a little earlier on. Like, you know, before she started dating her dad.

While Valerie doesn't know if her husband/father was absolutely sure he was doing his daughter, she seems to believe he probably did. I'm sure when he kept taking her to work with him on 'Bring Your Daughter to Work Day' every year was her first alert that something was up. Whether or not her late-sugar daddy was aware of this fact, needless to say, family reunions from now on are going to be awkward, to say the least.