On the Great Popularity Of ‘Minecraft Porn’

There's not much video games can't do. They can transform us into studly dragon-smiting warriors, our favorite rich-ass athletes, space explorers… whatever we fancy really. It's quite a power trip for scrawny, pale nerds who spend their days eating slices of bread straight from the bag with the curtains drawn.

But if there's one thing games have always struggled with, it's being sexy. The enormous jiggletastic jugs of Dead or Alive and such have their fans, but that just doesn't do it for me. When it comes to ogling, nothing beats a real woman. Or beating yourself off over one.

Still, you've got to take what you can get. Should there be no actual real-life ladyfolk available, I suppose you could have a leer at Lara Croft or some other pin up of the gaming world. Just don't, whatever the effing hell you do, get involved in the seedy underground world of Minecraft porn.

Yes indeed. Minecraft porn is a thing. I don't see how, other than the Creepers' uncanny resemblance to massive green dicks on legs, but there you go. Not only is this a thing, it's a pretty damn popular thing too. Here comes Pornhub, dropping another slice of science on us.

The latest article in the Pornhub Insights series (yes ma, we really are reading it for the articles) focuses on gaming-related searches. It notes that, since January 2014, searches for ‘Minecraft' on the site have increased by 326 percent. Which is a darn huge leap, I think we can all agree. And there's more, as GameSpot reports:

‘In addition to Minecraft, Pornhub users are searching for content related to other big-name game franchises like Halo, Clash of Clans, and Pokemon. "The average person visiting Pornhub views around 8 pages before finding the right video to get the job done. It's a process of refining results to find that video that fits their current mood," the site said.'

Now, I don't know what kind of mood you have to be in for Pokemon to be your first porntacular port of call. I'm probably the wrong guy to ask. But hey, here's a graph:

For more on this quite clearly fascinating and essential scientific issue, hit Pornhub's SFW blog post itself right here.