Nazi Aliens Run The U.S…According To Iran

An Iranian news agency is claiming that Edward Snowden's leaked documents prove that the United States is run by White Nazi aliens. The Iranian Fars news outlet claims that one of the documents Snowden released is a Russian Federal Security Service report that provides,

"Incontrovertible proof that an alien/extraterrestrial intelligence agenda is driving U.S. domestic and international policy, and has been doing so since 1945."

The story got even weirder when a Canadian ex-minister of defense seemed to confirm the story. Paul Hellyer was once a prominent Canadian politician and now spends a lot of his time talking about UFOs. While he claims he's been misrepresented but he did talk about the tall white Aryan aliens that Fars claims is mentioned in the Snowden report on a Russian television program. The problem with all of this is that Iran is sending contradictory statements about which conspiracy theory they believe.

One minute the Iranian government is saying that the U.S. and the West in general are run by a cabal of Zionist Jewish Freemasons and the next it's tall white Nazi aliens that run the show? Which is it? It can't possibly be both. By their very nature Nazi aliens wouldn't work with Jewish Freemasons because...well...they are friggin' Nazi aliens. As a member of the Jewish community and a Freemason I can tell you that we don't run the world. I still have to pay taxes and find street parking like everyone else. And Nazi aliens doesn't even make sense. How can they be German nationalists if they are from Umacron-5? It's the inconsistencies that bother me. Get your crazy whacked out stories straight, Iran.