Mila Kunis: PFC Dalbon’s Gift to You This Thanksgiving

Look, we know the military does not take kindly to any kinds of hanky panky in its ranks. From the top general on down, it's strictly by the book, dicks tucked in, no kind of funny business with, you know, crazy married biographer mistresses or such.

But, at times, our boys in uniform need a little R&R, and when PFC Robert Dalbon serving our country bravely wants to tear it up, virtually speaking, he turns to Egotastic!, and, more importantly, a petite super hottie we like to call, Mila Kunis, who he wants to share with the rest of you this Thanksgiving.

Now, Mrs. Dalbon, know that your husband loves you dearly, and just remember, it doesn't matter where you window shop, just where you make your, um, purchases. Enjoy.