Meanwhile, at the Rio Olympics, Sonic the Hedgehog’s Taking on the 400m Hurdles

  Now, I’m not averse to tattoos. If you’ve got yourself a love heart with ‘ma’ written inside it on your shoulder, more power to you. My issue is, I’ve never been able to settle on a design. A design I’ll want to have etched on my man-boob/forehead/scrote for the rest of my life. That’s quite a commitment to whatever the design happens to be, and I’m not sure I can handle that.

You’ve got to choose damn carefully. Some people go for words or symbols in a foreign language, thinking they say something like ‘wisdom’ ‘strength’ or ‘courage.’ It wouldn’t be any fun to tell them that the tattoo artist was just taking the piss, and actually wrote ‘donkey’s anus’ on their flesh. Or you go down the significant-other’s-name route, and are left in a ‘lil pickle when that relationship goes to hell.

There are a lot of pitfalls, is what I’m getting at here. Sometimes, though, the perfect tattoo meets the perfect person, and a good time is had by all.

As we saw last week, Vitalina Batsarashkina won the silver for Russia in the Olympic 10m air pistol event. She did so while sporting custom The Witcher/American McGee’s Alice gear. Which is cool and all, but it wasn’t quite on the nose enough. So step forward, Javier Culson, with your Sonic the Hedgehog tattoo.

I like what Culson’s done here. The Puerto Rican athlete, you see, is a runner, and Sonic –get this! You literally couldn’t make this shit up!—runs really fast. That’s some clever, clever stuff right there. ‘Culsonic,’ as he’s known, won himself the Bronze in the 400m hurdles last Olympics, Kotaku reports, and he’s hoping that his unique ink will propel his ass toward another medal.

Image: @flamehyenard