Lindsay Lindsay Lindsay!!!

Dawn Holland is the former Betty Ford employee who confronted Lindsay after she went to a bar and broke curfew, so TMZ paid Holland $10,000 for an interview (a confidentiality violation that has since gotten her fired) to describe what happened that night. A few highlights...

- Holland says she was called in by Betty Ford security to do a breathalyzer test on Lindsay and her two roommates after they returned (although now Lindsay says she was not at a bar and was actually getting her hair done.)
- When confronted, Holland says Lindsay "threw the phone ... I threw up my left hand to block it and then she grabbed my right hand and tried to snatch the phone that I had up to my ear, then called me a 'C__T B___H.'"
- During all this, Lindsay called her mom, who told Lindsay "no one had to submit to a breathalyzer test." 
- Holland writes one of the roommates admitted drinking, and then went into Lindsay's bedroom and Lindsay "yelled at me that she was talking to her mother and her mother told her she didn't have to breathalyze, she asked me if I wanted to speak to her mother but would never hand me the phone."
- In the report Holland says she told Lindsay -- whose code name at the clinic is Bella G. -- "You know that I could press charges against you for putting your hands on me.  And she replied 'Oh, you want money.'"

Holland has been called an opportunistic gold digger by her ex-husband, so yes, maybe she does want money, but she's not gonna get any out of Lindsay. She's broke and always will be. A year ago she could have at least turned to prostitution. Now, just get a strip of leather, tape a picture of Lindsays face on it and lay it over a chain link fence. Now fuck it. There, I just saved you $2,000.