lindsay cant get a flight home, is lying

Lindsay Lohan only has today and tomorrow to complete 3 alcohol education classes, or else the judge claims she'll issue a warrant for Lindsays arrest. But this sweet little lamb had to go to Cannes to get drunk work, and because of that big volcano she sort of heard something about, all the flights back to the US are full! Oh gosh, of all the rotten luck.

But sources say she can't get a flight back to the States because of the volcanic ash from Iceland. Airports all over Europe are jam-packed and it's impossible to get a seat.

These Lohans really are dumb as rocks. How did she get to Cannes 2 days ago? She dig a tunnel? And unless she was planning on being the pilot, there are tons of seats to get back, on your choice of planes.

Delta has 5 non-stop flights from Paris to NYC. With one days notice they have 116 seats open in first class, well over 100 more in coach (flight 8660, 8654, 8550, 8532, 8554). She can go from Cannes to Paris on rail in two in a half hours, then chose her own flight.

Flights on Air France look wide open as well. Their site also gives daily updates about the volcano. Today it says: "The volcanic ash cloud's position does not impact our flights for the moment. Consequently, today, May 18, all Air France flights should operate according to schedule."

The good news is that she's too arrogant to ever back down from one of her dumb lies. So we may get an interview with Lindsay from inside her hotel room as it rains down "volcanic ash". Upon closer inspection the ash appears to be feathers. Then Lindsay will take the camera and point it outside and the camera will pan over and Ali will be on the bed waving cut up pillows around. And in a quick slight of hand, instead of pointing the camera out the window, Lindsay will point it at the TV. Which is showing that scene where Paris gets blown up in 'Armageddon'. And she'll try to time it so that when the wave of destruction rolls toward the screen, Lindsay will fall down and say, "Oh my gosh what was that". It will be like if 'Cloverfield' was made be a drunken retard. Of course, 'Armageddon' was about an asteroid but Lindsay doesn't know what that means, or why I'm bringing it up in relation to her plan.