Lena Dunham Posts Nude Photos To Celebrate Hysterectomy Anniversary

 

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Today is National Leathercraft Day, National Relaxation Day and National Lemon Merengue Pie Day. It’s also the 9 month anniversary of my hysterectomy. I’ve never celebrated the 9 month anniversary of anything and I realized last night why that number feels so funny- I won’t ever do it the way I planned to. My body is mostly healed and every day I find a new bruise on my heart, but today I offer myself gratitude: from the most pained place, I somehow knew to choose myself. The purest glint of who we are and know we can be is always available to us, calm and true at our center. My friend Paul named my uterus Judy, and when she was being uppity we called her out, hence the tattoo on my ribs, which hurt like fuck even through the pain meds: #RIPJudy. Today I give thanks for Judy, for her graceful exit and for this body, which is stronger than I’ve ever given it credit for. Happy Giving Birth To Myself Day.

A post shared by Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) on Aug 15, 2018 at 4:18am PDT

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Mark you calendars everyone. Nine months ago on this fateful day, body positivity guru and quasi-child molester to the stars, Lena Dunham, had a hysterectomy. When I went to the greeting card aisle of Target this morning, the "Lena Dunham Hysterectomy" section was completely picked over, so I'll just make her a homemade card. On the outside it will say "Congratulations!" And on the inside it will say "You will never be able to have biological children. Does that make you feel incomplete as a woman?"

Dunham still operates under the impression that she's the only person in this world to grapple with weight issues, and she also seems to think that she's the only Instagrammer in the world to have a surgery that the entire planet is dying to hear about until the end of time. No really. More details about your scraped out innards, please. Pics or it didn't happen.

Dunham's Insta nudes tryptic comes on the heels of her tweet featuring the scrapped list of baby names she created with her ex Jack Antonoff. She's got babies on the brain, but should just keep in mind that God works in mysterious ways, and that some things are blessings in disguise, and that she's a greasy gross narcissistic self-serving entitled asshole and no one wants a mini Lena Dunham. Lest of all God. Demi Lovato keeps him busy these days. Pour yourself a shot of gasoline before reading this queef fest she posted with the pics:

Today is National Leathercraft Day, National Relaxation Day and National Lemon Merengue Pie Day. It’s also the 9 month anniversary of my hysterectomy. I’ve never celebrated the 9 month anniversary of anything and I realized last night why that number feels so funny- I won’t ever do it the way I planned to. My body is mostly healed and every day I find a new bruise on my heart, but today I offer myself gratitude: from the most pained place, I somehow knew to choose myself. The purest glint of who we are and know we can be is always available to us, calm and true at our center. My friend Paul named my uterus Judy, and when she was being uppity we called her out, hence the tattoo on my ribs, which hurt like fuck even through the pain meds: #RIPJudy. Today I give thanks for Judy, for her graceful exit and for this body, which is stronger than I’ve ever given it credit for. Happy Giving Birth To Myself Day.

You didn't give birth to anyone. And now you never will. Happy Lena Dunham Hysterectomy Day everyone.

Photo Credit: Instagram / Getty Images