Kim K Knows How To Break Sex Tape News To Her Kids

Imagine yourself in Kim Kardashian’s position. No, not the one on the bedazzled sex swing hanging from the ceiling. Her kids are getting older. Eventually they’re going to have to come to terms with who their mother is. It’s only a matter of time before the other kids at the playground drop hints that their mother is the most successful pornstar of all time. The amount of teasing that those kids will receive will be unprecedented. But at least Kim has an idea of how to explain her inner whore to her children. She claims honesty is the best policy. I don’t think in the history of raising children has there even been a more imperative time to lie to children. It’ll be less of a headache if she keeps those kids believing in Santa and her virtue until she’s too old to care anymore.

Kim Kardashian West isn’t looking forward to explaining one specific thing from her past to her children.

“I don’t know [what I’ll tell them about it] yet,” she admitted of Chicago, 1, Saint, 3, and North, 5½. “I mean, I have an idea, and I think I’m just gonna be super honest and real with them. That’s all you can really be.”

Speaking of growing up, Kim is no longer feuding with Taylor Swift. Add that to the list of shit that’s been resolved that no one cares about.

During her Monday night appearance on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen, the 38-year-old reality star stopped by with her sisters Khloé and Kourtney Kardashian, where she dished about how her feud with Swift is old news.

“Kim, you and Taylor Swift — still a beef with Taylor after all that went down?” asked host Andy Cohen during the show’s “Squash That Beef!” segment.

“Over it,” said Kardashian West, revealing in another segment that she’d rather be stuck in an elevator with the “Look What You Made Me Do” singer, 29, than Drake.

It looks like Kim has this life thing all figured out. If I was her, I wouldn’t know what to say to a fifth grader after they finally watched mommy’s biscuit get buttered by someone who looks like daddy, but isn’t. Just coming out of any Kardashian’s vagina is already considered a traumatic experience. Kim’s kids have been overdue for therapy since birth. I rather be bullied for mom volunteering as a chaperone for a field trip than the whole class talking about her sex tape. Hopefully these kids get help before it’s too late.

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