Katy Perry In Search of Meaning

Katy Perry's failed, frenetic media blitz for her new album Witness mirrors Lady Gaga's similar thinly-veiled hawking for Artpop. But Gaga has all the soul and vulnerability of a hedge fund manager. Give her a Pepsi and a comfy Airbnb and she's good to watch the world burn. Perry is a rough looking Willy Loman susceptible to harsh criticism.

But the pressures of stardom don't have her careening towards a satisfying meltdown. Lindsay Lohan is acting again. We need a new tribute. Instead, Perry's turning towards deep introspection in a new interview with the New York Times. They must have been bought out by OK! Magazine. Just kidding. They're only copying OK!

Perry's recent missteps, including her Saturday Night Live performance with Migos, have landed her in the crossfires of the LGBT community, black people, white people, liberals, conservatives, Taylor Swift's loyal suicidal followers, Klingons, houseplants, and anyone with operating eyes or ears. rebranding yourself as the big-titted socially "woke" feminist takes savvy. Perry's trying to paint the Sistine Chapel with three scented markers and a sheet of Lisa Frank stickers:

I feel very empowered. Extremely liberated, liberated from the conditioning of the way I used to think, spiritually liberated, politically liberated, sexually liberated, liberated from things that don’t serve me.

I didn’t kill [my former self], because I love her, and she is exactly what I had to do then. And I’m not a con artist, I didn’t con people, like, that was just me. And this is me now.

Always trust someone who explicitly states they're not a con artist. She continues about her former coquettish porn star self:

I used to be scared of intimacy, I used to use my sexualization as attention, I used to oversexualize myself because that was the only way I knew how.

And on how the election spurred Perry's sloppily reinvented image:

The reality is that I was retriggered on the election. I was retriggered by a big male that didn’t see women as equal. And that had been, unfortunately, a common theme in my upbringing.

Someone's grifting minister father liked her figure. Perry's interview takes cues from her career by becoming unfocused and hilarious. She contributes:

All the awards shows are fake. And all the awards that I’ve won are fake. They’re constructs. 

Perry identifies. She answers her own questions about this stumbling point in her career by declaring that "Intention is everything." And if executed poorly, it gets you nowhere. Perry has entered the Meaning portion of the superficial stardom life. We could save her time and haircut energy by making her watch The Wizard of Oz and explaining the themes to her at a third-grade level, but that would be no fun. Time to go teach another anatomy lesson on Sesame Street. 

_{Photo Credit: New York Times}