Irina Shayk Wears Lingerie Well

I read a little Spanish thanks to a weekend in a Mexican jail cell for a miscommunication involving three copper pennies, a burro, and a village boy named Ignacio. The print alongside Irina Shayk translates roughly to 'if you live a thousand lifetimes, you will never get the chance to fuck me, let alone smell my worn stockings.' That last part seems gratuitous. But no doubt true.

I've come to live with the fact I'll probably be denied the opportunity to biblically explore the women on my bucket list. Though I will hopefully one day get break bread with the Hmong people and masturbate on horseback in a revived old town shopping district, so I won't totally whiff on my list.

Photo Credit: DTlux