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Sam Robeson - January 31, 2018
For as much as we're assured that German supermodel Heidi Klum is ageless, I can't help but feel like she's actually, like, full of age, and that it shows in every part of her body and face. Nonetheless, I'm sure I'm just crazy and that she doesn't share more physical characteristics with a rocky cliff than a human woman. At least Germans are known for their winning personalities. If she is in fact past her prime, the seventy-four-year-old Klum will be the last to know, and just this week took to Instagram to share some kinky old woman lingerie pics on Instagram that we're supposed to care about.
In the first image, Klum can be seen flaunting her legs - which have all the appeal of two Karen Carpenters attached to her hips - as well as her tits which she grazes with her veins. BTW sorry if this is coming across as mean. Ageism and German-bashing are the only two strongholds of acceptable discrimination and I want to get the most out of them before I can't even make fun of someone for being old and German. In the second pic Klum shoves her ass in the air while sporting heels, and although the ass looks pretty great, I almost feel like a filter was used on this that could have beneficial aesthetic results. Nah no way. Anyway here's Maria Shriver.
Photo Credit: Instagram / Pacific Coast News / Splash News / Getty Images
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