ADVERTISEMENT
CELEBRITY
Sam Robeson - April 26, 2017
Heidi Klum is still making money off her body. No small feat at forty-three. In unedited pictures she looks like a Barbie Doll made with lumpy clay. But she’s slender. That's a lot to work with as a baseline. Klum shared a video of her boobs getting a vigorous rubdown on Snapchat. The fact that a mom figured out Snapchat is a feat in and of itself. But the ability to fame whore at a caliber that rivals the likes of girls trying to get into rap music videos earns her an extra drink ticket at the Golden Coral early bird buffet.
The shaky video helps make Klum's tits look great. We get to see an assistant rub bronzer on her cleavage. The POV is fantastic for anyone wanting to know what Seal saw before finishing with a bang and one crocodile tear for the unfed children of the world. The subtext of this cinematic venture is, I'm still fuckable. Agreed. Though consider the standard for that proposition among the general male audience.
Klum became famous as a young lingerie model and somebody who would marry famous guys and have their good looking kids to catch a break. She retired from strutting around in mall underwear with half of Jo-Ann Fabrics strapped to her back in 2009. Eight years and some large number of kids later she’s still jack off-worthy. There's a reason she's making bank. Almost nobody else in the world can do this. The next time you see Rose McGowan ranting about nobody casting women over thirty-five, smile at her knowingly. Then ask her to politely move to her right. She's blocking your view of Heidi Klum in a see-through thong.
Photo credit: Instagram
Session expired
Please log in again. The login page will open in a new tab. After logging in you can close it and return to this page.