Has Bigfoot Finally Been Identified As A Polar Bear? No.

A sciencey guy in England says he's figured out that the illusive Yeti is neither a proto-human, an alien, or a large ape but an early form of polar bear. Bryan Sykes is a geneticist and professor emeritus at Oxford. A couple of years ago he put out a call for samples of Yetis, Sasquatches, and Bigfoots, (bigfeet?). Most of the samples were regular bears, apes, and fat guys in gorilla costumes. But one sample from the 1940's Himalayas was a genetic match to an ancient ancestor of the polar bear. Therefore, his hypothesis is that there is a rare descendant hybrid of this polar bear walking around through heavy brush whenever photographed. Maybe there is a weird polar bear out there scaring rednecks, I'm not sure. What I do know is that that is not Bigfoot.

Bigfoot is a tall hairy beast related to humans. The creature wanders around in the woods of the Pacific Northwest, unless he's taken home by a family who falls in love with him. Then, they have to release him back into the wild for his own good. Sometimes they have to be cruel and tell him you don't want him around, but only to save his life...only to save his life...THAT's bigfoot.