Gwyneth Paltrow Wants Daughter To Continue In Her Goopy Footsteps

I know I’m not the only one that wouldn’t mind seeing Gwyneth Paltrow and her Goop gone from the spotlight for good. Regrettably, that’s not happening for some time as her daughter Apple Blythe Alison is being groomed to take over her mother’s cult. With the whitest name ever on record in American history and Gwyneth’s backing, Apple was born to be somebody. As you would expect of any Child of Goop.

Could Gwyneth Paltrow‘s daughter be the future head of Goop?

“That would be great!” Paltrow, 46, said when asked if Apple might work as an intern for her lifestyle and wellness brand someday. “She has her finger on the pulse.”

“She really is my focus group; I am always asking her opinion about this or that,” the star added. “She represents that Gen Z generation. I don’t know half the things she talks about, but I try to keep up with her!”

“My daughter is super ballsy. I always follow her lead,” Paltrow told Harper’s Bazaar in 2016. “I actually don’t need to encourage her to take risks. She likes to push herself; she wants to see how far she can get.”

In the horror movie that has become Gwyneth’s life, I don’t believe she’s even the main character of her own film anymore. It’s even arguable that she has only existed to summon something into this world that’s bigger and more ridiculous than she ever could be on her own, like Scientology. Goop will go from a lifestyle to a religion soon. She has already duped enough delusional individuals with loads of disposable income into purchasing vagina eggs to officially change her name from Gwyneth to G Wyn Paltrow, “your favorite cult leader’s favorite cult leader.” Just when you suspected Elon Musk to be the charlatan of the century, Paltrow proves she was a dark horse all along.