Give Apple the Righteous Middle Finger With 5 Gaming Gadgets Greater Than the iPhone 5

"How are the sales of the iPhone 5 at this fledgling juncture?" we inquired of our pet financial analyst (who dwells ‘neath the janitor's desk and gorges upon the prolific cascade of donut crumbs that festoons the floor on an hourly basis).
"If you'll excuse the esoteric technical jargon," said he, "the term would beshitstorm. The thing is being propelled into the stratosphere at warp speed atop a golden rainbow, on a sled filled with vast sacks of cash. Pulled by greased weaselsON FIRE that shit money. From every orifice."

In summation, the outlook is rather positive. We'd nary expect anything less, from a device concocted by ACTUAL ARCANE WITCHCRAFT in an underground laboratory somewhere in Antarctica (the secret recipe, allegedly, being three parts technical sorcery to one part Steve Jobs' cryogenically frozen semen). Before flashing the cash like an ostentatious rapper with more money than education, though, hit the gallery for some alternative technical wonderment you could (conceivably, in a decade or two) purchase in lieu of the i-marvel.