Forget Call of Duty, Real Men Need the Retro Love: The Legend of Zelda- Ocarina of Time

First and foremost, we can credit Ocarina of Time with expanding the world's knowledge of obscure ancient musical instruments. Those of us who wouldn't have recognized an ocarina if it struck us in the gonads at high velocity as we strode man-tastically down the sidewalk now know what they are.

If you can believe it, though, the game's legacy extends even further than that. Let's take a look.

As with last week's installment, Metal Gear Solid, the game was unleashed in the Year of General Undercrackers-Fouling Gaming Badassery (1998). It was the slightly effeminate fairy-boy hero's first venture into 3D, following two years or so after the ball-busting success of Super Mario 64. How did their second trotted-out-whenever-company-executives-want-another-solid-gold-jacuzzi mascot fare on the Nintendo 64?

Very well indeed. Well-er than very well indeed. Ocarina has been acknowledged as nothing less than ‘the highest-rated game of all time,' (-guinnessworldrecords) which is enough to make any development team embark on the kind of celebratory drug binge that has brought an untimely end to many beloved celebrities. Being from the ever-family-friendly Nintendo, though, these guys probably had more of a couple-games-of-canasta-with-grandma-then-lights-out-at-9.00pm-and-no-touching celebration.

It's the tale of another feat of bastardry from the company's resident ginger-bearded villain. This time, Ganondorf seeks the Triforce, a legendary relic which grants the wishes of its holder. In the ‘Dorf's case, said wishes aren't as mundane as unlimited wealth, more sexual stamina or simply ‘more wishes.' Dominion over EVERY DAMN THING IN HYRULE is much more his style. That's so him.

Link, predictably, has mixed feelings about the whole situation, and sets out to gather the seven sages, who can combine their abilities to banish Ganondorf forever (sequels permitting).

As Zelda-ites will know, each sage is encountered at the end of a puzzle-y, sword-stabby dungeon. Each will also contain another piece of equipment, from hookshots to iron boots, which will enable you to access the next 'stage' in turn. The familiar Zelda structure.

Ocarina of Time lent the series the kind of balls-out, cinematic scope that it hadn't been able to show before. Sure, its jaggedy and blur-tacular early 3D looks as rough as a bulldog's ballbag now, but we'll be damned if a little pee didn't come out that first time we entered the sprawling vista that is Hyrule Field.

So many classic gaming memories: freeing Epona from the ranch, that darned fairy (screw you, Navi! Screw youALWAYS!), shooting the sun itself right in the damn face with an arrow, taking the Master Sword and becoming adult Link... it's truly legendary.

Finally, get your nostalgia-glands around this:

Source of images: gamefaqs.