Evelyn Lozada Is The Best Prom Date Ever

I tried to think if I've ever even said Evelyn Lozada's name before, and I can't think of any times that I have, because I don't really know who she is, other than she married Chad Ochojohnson. But then she agreed to go to some random high school kid's senior prom and wore a dress that showed off her giant tits like they were on display at the Louvre and now everyone in America probably knows who she is.

Think about the poor girls from that school, though. Not only did this kid fuck everything up by bringing a pair of tits bigger than most of their heads so all of those teenage girls would be invisible, but they probably didn't have anyone to dance with because their dates were all stuck at the table with boners.

Hopefully that kid lied and told everyone that he got laid. Nobody will believe him, of course, but none of those other kids had their own public spank bank posted on Instagram either.