Dentist Mortally Wounds Lion

Dentist and big game hunter Walter Miller confused his daily practice grind with being a Make-a-Wish Foundation candidate and requested the chance to kill, skin, and behead Cecil the Lion. Cecil's a regular in YouTube clips from visitors to the national park in Zimbabwe. This is fucking Africa. Keep the windows up so we don't get The AIDS.

DDS Miller paid some local game hunter $50,000 to help him lure Cecil off park sanctuary grounds by dragging a dead animal behind their Jeep. It's the trophy hunter version of pedophiles with ice cream trucks. Once off the grounds, Miller shot Cecil with a bow and arrow, missing the big cat's vital organs, so the lion died a slow and painful bleeding out death precisely like you might see in a Hunting-Is-Murder protest video. I definitely want you as my dentist. What do you mean you took out the wrong tooth?

Everybody is pissed to shit. The Zimbabwe government which surely got their own cut is pretending to throw an unlicensed hunting trial for Miller and his hunter accomplice. Social media is blowing up with boycotts of Miller's dental practice in Minnesota. And Pamela Anderson poured out some of her breakfast vodka rocks out for Cecil, though quickly lapped it up off the counter because there's no reason to believe Cecil wouldn't want her to be happy.

It's hard to see the exhilaration in killing a dumb beast purely for sport. But if you accept the premise that somebody wants to be a dentist in the first place, all kinds of wickedness is possible.

Photo credit: U.K. Telegraph