Demi Lovato Releases Lengthy Statement About Fake Overdose*

A post shared by Demi Lovato (@ddlovato) on Aug 5, 2018 at 1:53pm PDT

*ALLEGED FAKE OVERDOSE. According to me. This weekend I finally watched the documentary Amy, about the tragically short life of Amy Winehouse. This serendipitous viewing has given me a benchmark for what it really means to be a troubled fucked up drug-addicted bulimic mess of a person, and only solidifies my stance that Demi Lovato - who recently made, and continues to make, headlines for her possible heroin overdose at a party at her home in the Hollywood Hills - isn't a drug addict and has never done drugs in her life and is probably Mormon.

Lovato is simply reinforcing her brand as the relatable mid-level suicidal body positive drug-addicted drag queen next door, and when the jig is finally up, let it be known that I'd like my Pulitzer Prize mailed to me, because I don't want to be around a bunch of dorks. Lovato will drag this out until even her most devout fans want her to overdose, and recently released the statement above via Instagram. Heroin addicts don't have Instagram.

And even if they do, and even if Lovato is one, who gives a pile of taints? The immensely talented Amy Winehouse - again for comparison sake - struggled through her addiction to bring pure and heartfelt music to the world. Lovato sings like Christina Aguilera in a screaming match and seems to have the same relationship to (her supposed) addiction as a Slender Man-following Tumblr girl has with cutting. As always, in the timeless words of Demi Lovato - #sorrynotsorry.

Photo Credit: Instagram / Splash News