Danielle Bregoli Bought New Teeth

I don’t know why Dr. Phil is still allowed to host a show after creating Danielle Brigoli. Isn’t his schtick centered on helping the deeply troubled? And not turning teenage terrors into successful Soundcloud rappers then walking away. Clean up your mess Phil. Before it was just her mother that had to deal with Danielle, but after that fateful episode, it’s now the rest of us figuring out ways to make her stop. She doesn’t even follow the rules of the rap genre she’s in. No gold grills, but a mouth full of veneers. It seems like she’s shaping up to be one of the first rappers ever to record an entire music video at Whole Foods if she keeps this up. My neck, my back, my quinoa and other healthy snacks.

I’m counting down the days until she let’s the n-word slip on camera/turns 18. She may not know it, but she stands on the shoulders of other white women that chose a life of hip-hop over Target and hot yoga. Kreyshawn, V Nasty, Lil Debbie. I hope she doesn’t let those women down. Hopefully the next large sum of money she comes across she makes up for her rapper faux pas by putting 24 inch spinning rims on her Tesla. She’s got a hardcore image to uphold.