Crack Open a Colt .45 Because Billy Dee’s Back for Episode IX, Baby!

I know everyone hates Star Wars now because Disney's SJW agenda has retroactively tainted your childhoods, but I've got some news that'll get even the most virulent of MRAs back in the game: Lando's gonna be in Episode IX! That's right, the biggest mistake of the sequel trilogy is going to finally be rectified by the news that Billy Dee Williams will indeed return as Lando Calrissian for the final film in the Skywalker saga.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, rumors about Billy Dee's return to the franchise began swirling when he cancelled an upcoming appearance at a convention due to scheduling conflicts. This will mark Williams' first time playing the role since his cameo in 2014's The LEGO Movie, and his first time in corporeal form as Lando since Return of the Jedi 35 years ago.

This is honestly all I wanted out of Episode IX. It's a damn shame we had to wait this long to get Lando back in the game, but as the saying goes, better late than never. Now, let's just hope they take my advice from this article I wrote last year on how to reincorporate Lando into the story...

Open the film with Chewbacca and Rey landing on a platform in Cloud City where they're met by Lobot. They walk silently through the halls until they end up in Lando's office where Lando is seated with his back to them. We hear, "How you doin' Chewbacca?" and the chair spins around and there's Billy Dee. He can even give Rey a "Hellooo" like he gives Leia in Empire. And then Rey says, "We've come to bring you back your ship." And then Lando asks, "Where's Han," and Chewie cries mournfully, saying everything with a solitary growl. And Lando says, "I'm gonna need a co-pilot," at which point we smash cut to Nien Nunb's house, cue "Back in Black" by AC/DC and now you've got yourself a Star Wars movie.

I think I speak for everyone here when I say...