Christy Turlington Wets Herself in Anticipation of Gwynneth Paltrow Dinner Party

Look, we've all been there before, stuck in bad traffic after two cups of coffee, squeezing thighs together waiting in long lines outside stadium urinals, or, for me, asking the strikingly big-boobed Marsha Marchon to the junior prom -- we've all been there when the bladder dam starts to crack. It ain't pretty. Now, I'm not saying that supermodel Christy Turlington let loose the water dogs of war. Nor am I suggesting that forecasters called for a 100% chance of golden showers in her stretch pants. I'm just here to lend a supportive hand, and perhaps a dry towel to pat down her sensitive areas. One can only imagine that Christy was thinking about her evening invite to Gwynneth Paltrow's fabulous famous persons dinner party in her posh Manhattan condo later that evening and just couldn't handle the anticipation. Heck, I once wet myself just from hearing my local Taco Bell drive-thru was going 24 hours. Christy, we feel your pain, your moistness is our moistness, you still look hot. Enjoy.