Charlie Sheen had cocaine, naked hooker in his closet

Monday night, while staying at a suite in the Plaza Hotel in New York City, Charlie Sheen thought his prostitute stole his wallet, so he started to freak out and break stuff. Around 2am, the NYPD arrived and found about $7,000 in damage to the room. Oh and Life & Style says they found this too...

a prostitute screaming from inside the closet of the hotel room while Sheen was passed out on the bed. "She was fearing for her life and was naked," a source told the magazine.

And the New York Post says…

Sheen told cops he was drinking and had snorted cocaine before flipping out, sources said.

And Radar sort of confirms that…

"After that incident, a battery of tests were run on Sheen. He tested positive for cocaine. And he's only been out of rehab for two months."

So where is Sheen today? Has he already been hung and left for the carrion birds to pick apart as a warning to other actors? In a sense, yes. In another, more accurate sense, no, not in any way. He's back in LA, he slept in his own bed last night, and is getting ready to film a movie and go back to work at his CBS sitcom. He's not in any trouble whatsoever, no charges of any kind have been filed against him. In fact I expect the cops to bring him a plate of cupcakes sometime today, just as proof that we all live in Oppositeville now.