Egotastic
When you get an invite to hang with the President, even a liquor-lacquered Lindsay Lohan is going to make an effort to get to the airport on time. Only, yeah, Lindsay Lohan didn't. Traveling with her attorney, and who doesn't travel with their attorney, well, the attorney showed up in D.C. for the White House Correspondents dinner, but Lindsay kind of didn't make it. But, fear not, the blurry-eyed recently un-probationed starlet stumbled onto a later flight and arrived in our nation's capitol to gladly discover that nobody drinks harder than politicians.
Now, I'm not exactly sure why I'm on a list that doesn't allow me within 800 nautical miles of the White House, but multiple arrested and incarcerated celebrities get to hang with Obama, but I try not to think too hard on these maters. Maybe it's because once she splashed some ice cold water on her face and slipped into her cleavage baring dress for the upper-crusty affair, she actually looked like a girl you might take home with you at a bar at 10PM, err, midnight, err, okay, 3am. Enjoy.
There Are Two Things You Can Not Take Away from Lindsay Lohan (and They Were on Display on Melrose Ave)
With all of our foreboding forecasts of what is to become of Lindsay Lohan, what with all her long-standing personal troubles and her circle of friends that looks like a semi-literate, cock-snorting version of the Algonquin Roundtable, well, we'd like to remind ourselves of the various reasons we first fell deep into lust with this original ginger crush, and two of these reasons were on decent display yesterday amid the stores on trendy Melrose Avenue.
You can put the woman through life's grinder, you can ring her up and hand-wring her down, you can give her parents who lie somewhere on the spectrum of celebrity family dysfunctionality between The Caulkins and The Manson Family, but you can not take away those big ripe knockers. This is the gift that keeps on giving to us oglers. Enjoy.
P.S. If you've not seen Lindsay getting goth in her darkly erotic Muse magazine video, you really must see it, by director Yu Tsai, like a testament to visions of Lindsay future: