Heidi Klum

Padma Lakshmi Gives Me Indian Wood (And Other Obvious Notes from the amfAR Gala)

Okay, so Lindsay Lohan did look like an unfortunate trainwreck last night at the amfAR Gala, but, that is Lindsay's m.o. these past few months of post-rehab/in need of rehab times.

But this did not take down the evening that was otherwise packed tight and hot with veteran sextastic such as culinary coochie Padma Lakshmi, super model Karolina Kurkova, even more super modelish, Elizabeth Hurley, and freshly single Germanic wonder, Heidi Klum. Not bad for a formal night out with the ladies. Not bad at all. Enjoy.

Heidi Klum and Seal Hitting Splitsvile; Could I Be the Next to Dude to Kiss Heidi’s Rose?

I will freely admit, our powers of prognostication, as highly touted as they are (you know, despite picking both losers in this weekend's NFL championship games) never saw the divorce of Heidi Klum and Seal coming. It wasn't that long ago she was getting all kinds of nekkid in music videos where the hideous Seal was wet grooming her lingual style. And, unlike Katy and Russell, who you'd be hard pressed to find a photo of together in the same vicinity in the past year, Heidi and Seal were often snapped together on vacations and family outings.

But, all of that is past tense as of today when I can not, should not, and most definitely will not look part the fact that this uber-hot German minx is back on the market. I think she may have a bushel or two more kids since the last time she was out dating, but, Heidi, let me be the first to tell you, I am great with kids. I mean, I can round them up and lock them in the closet before they know what hit them so that the two of us can get down to some serious rebounding time. It's a critical step in your divorce recovery and I stand completely lubed and ready to take on this assignment. Call me.

Heidi Klum, Jennifer Lopez, and Jessica Alba A-List Holiday Hottie Pimstress Duty

Sure, we make fun of the B-Listers for making their weekend Vegas runs to pimp out the various sponsored nightclub events, but let's be financially honest, even the top of the celebrity charts are serving as eye-candy for dollars this time of year, albeit, the paychecks have a few more zeroes in them. Still, hotness is hotness, no matter who's footing the bill, so we definitely took long, care, and did we mention long, notice of Heidi Klum looking like just about the world's most delicious Christmas present pimping out something or other for QVC at the Four Seasons, Jennifer Lopez looking all kinds of mature sexy and shucking for Fiat (officially this time, not like at the AMA's), and even preciously new mama hot Jessica Alba, making a paid public appearance for Swarovski and the lighting up of Rodeo Drive for the holidays.

Three Yuletide pimstresses selling their wares in fine sexy fashion. It really is one of the greater pleasures of the otherwise stressful holiday shopping season. Enjoy.

Heidi Klum and Katy Perry Getting Sapphic For Our Favorite Moment of the AMA’s

Perhaps our first time being genuinely jealous of an obelisk-shaped award, but, oh, to be handled by both the uber-sextastic Heidi Klum and tease-bot Katy Perry, as the two handy girls become so consumed with passion their lips move toward one another. Okay, so maybe we're projecting just a little, but, oh, my, my, if this doesn't get you to sign up for the once a year Men Allowed day trip to the Isle of Lesbo, not sure what will. Enjoy.

Heidi Klum Rings In Halloween With Most Gruesome Costume of Celebrity Holiday Weekend

Happy Halloween to all of our toasty toasted pumpkin heads. The day of trick or treat madness, when after a couple spiked punch drinks, suddenly the crabby old landlady in the witch costume starts looking really appealing.

The celebrity world did most of its All Hallowed Saint's Day partying over the weekend, and while we'll be covering the best of the best of the sexy at the costume parties, we wanted to kick off the day with just a noteworthy effort on the truly freaky deaky side by elsewise super MILF Heidi Klum, hosting her own monster day party and taking the cake in the costume department in her anatomical 'view of the muscular system' get up. We can't exactly call it celebrity skin, because there is no skin, but props to the sizzling hot Heidi for eschewing the cliche flirty nurse or princess costumes and really sticking to the horrific goth nature of the holiday.

Best costume, hands down, for Heidi, including her dramatic entrance on the gurney, just tops. Absolutely check out the details in this photo set to appreciate the gruesomeness. Enjoy.

Heidi Klum and Victoria Justice Bring Some Inter-Generational Hotness to the Nick HALO Awards

The last time Nick Cannon teamed up with anybody, he made Mariah Carey enormously pregnant, so we got a little nervous reading about Nick teaming up with Nickelodeon for the HALO Awards, honoring teens who do good public service. But, it turned out to be a great cause for all, because a number of celebrity hotties showed up to support Nick and Nick in their social honoring, including the MILFtastic Heidi Klum and the young sextastic wunderkind, Victoria Justice, both of whom could give a guy several ideas about how to better their personal communities. Pretty amazing to think that Heidi Klum is old enough to be Victoria Justice's mother, at least in my mom-daughter fantasies where I assure you each evening, Heidi is a very strict head of household, and Victoria is a very naughty girl. Enjoy.

Bar Refaeli and Christine Teigen Lead the Hot List at amfAR Charity Ball

Last year at this time, I promised everybody in the office that in one year's time we'd be hanging out in Milan checking out all the amazing hotness at one of the world's biggest sexy celebrity fests, the Milan Fashion Week. But, no, I had to go and completely under-deliver once more, and, thus, I wound up instead taking the team to Sizzler before 6PM for the Early Bird Malibu Chicken Dinner Special. Milan, Sizzler. It's all just a state of mind.

One of the signature events in the heart of Fashion Week, one that brings out the A-game in the A-list hotties is the amfAR, AIDS research fundraiser, where every '10' within ten thousand miles gets decked out to walk the red carpet, sip on Camparis, and flash their bazillion dollar looks. Leading this year's event were the super sextastic models, Bar Refaeli and Christine Teigen, along with several other ridiculously hot women including sexalicious Victoria's Secret model Chanel Iman, my MILF-dream German, Heidi Klum, and Brazilian supermodel, Isabeli Fontana; really just too much awesome for one room. How I wish I could have been there just to drool upon the lavish floors. Enjoy.