Egotastic
Talk about your underrated hotties, Doutzen Kroes has to make that list. She was already one of the lesser known Victoria's Secret Angels before this year of getting knocked up and married to her DJ boyfriend (and I think you all know how we feel about dudes who list 'DJ' as their occupation -- that's right, girl, get your own job and put some cash away in a rainy DJ day fund). But that was all before Doutzen made perhaps the most remarkable post-birthing of a pup recovery in the history of MILFdom earlier this year; a true six week turnaround from screams of labor to the labored screams of men ogling her on the beach in a photoshoot. It was like watching one of those unbelievable transformation shows on the Discovery Channel where Short Charlie who could never reach the peanut butter on the counter is now 6'2 thanks to the injection of monkey sperm into his spine or such. It is possible I didn't actually watch that and just dreamed it, but you get my point. Doutzen's anatomical recovery was quite astounding and worthy of three-handed applause.
At a charity event last night in support of World AIDS Day, the Dutch hottie once again brought out a simple dose of plain old fashioned hotness. I'd definitely keep an eye on Doutzen Kroes in 2012, in fact, I intend to keep two Bluto like hyper-extended eyeballs on Doutzen. Don't want to miss a thing. Enjoy.
Miranda Kerr and Candice Swanepoel Lead Pack of V.S. Hotties Already Pimping Valentine’s
Gentlemen, you've got 40 short days left until the lady in your life measures the entire value of your relationship, and, let's be honest, you short term ability to 'git sum', based upon your plans to feign, pretend, and otherwise not be your real self when it comes to the sickly sweet romance department. It's not so hard really, like a prostate exam, you don't want to do it, but you know at some point you've got to just suffer a bit o' pain in the rear out of common practical sense.
Thanks to the good and silky-nothings producing people at Victoria's Secret, and the likes of the super sextastic Candice Swanepoel, Adriana Lima, Doutzen Kroes, Erin Heatherton, and Miranda Kerr, you can get an advanced look on the lingerie you'll be wanting to buy your girl come February 14. Now, we always preface our Valentine's lingerie pictures with this warning: objects in your mirror may not be quite the same shape as Victoria's Secret angels, so, do measure expectations accordingly. I've found from my own ghosts of Valentine's lingerie past that letting out a noticeable giggle during the unfurling of the silky underthings portion of the evening does little to assist in the conjugal portions of the evening. So, please, work on your 'wow!' right now; practice it, perfect it, and come six weeks from now, after an early bird dinner at Sizzler, some freeway offramp flowers, and a bit of satin and lace, you too will be getting down with your lady to the dulcet tones of Def Leppard on the bedroom audio system. Enjoy.