Cameron Diaz Surrenders

Cameron Diaz married Benji Madden in a super private ceremony out by the second dumpster behind The Tavern in Brentwood. Given that these two have fucked the crap out of most of Hollywood the past fifteen years, they wanted to keep it simple, exchanging rings and vowing not to pursue sex when aware they are on blistering cycle. Cameron also promised not to embarrass Benji in front of his boys by picking him up and squat thrusting him like a fat Lilliputian. While Benji promised not to ever mention how much hotter and feminine Cameron used to look when he first started masturbating to her. Everyone in attendance cried. Mostly from the rat bites.

Photo Credit: Glamour Magazine, PacificCoastNews/FameFlynet/Splash