Britney Spears Only Kidding About Quitting Vegas

While most of us thought it was the end of the road for Britney Spears after Planet Hollywood in Vegas hinted it was her last show it turns out she signed a new contract with the Monte Carlo Resort across the street. This is a very huge deal for her as her only other Las Vegas contract option was signing with the Bunny Ranch. Sin City is where starpower goes to die. The living dead A-list zombie Spears’ career isn’t seeing a revival anytime soon. The shows that managed to sell out were the work of the promotion foot soldiers outside of casinos asking “hey what are you tonight.” Tourist are either guilt tripped in a Spears show or a timeshare. Neither are great options.

More shows just means more millions for Britney to spend on massages. She’s earned it after all these years. She should be alright as long as she stays away from Massage Envy. Unless she actually desires be drafted to team #MeToo. Then and only then can she fetch more than her Monte Carlo contract without lifting a finger. Every woman is entitled to lucrative lawsuits and their own late-night TV show when they never explicitly gave consent to the surprise happy ending.

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