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Bella Thorne Naked and Afraid

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Lex Jurgen - January 26, 2017

Woman prone and naked in the fetal position used to be a sign for somebody to fetch a blanket and somebody else to fetch the on-call psychiatrist. The skinny frame and alphanumeric tats and fucked up hair sealed the 5150 application process. Nowadays it's really hard to tell.

Bella Thorne shows classic signs of chick on a ledge syndrome. Likely you dated one in your youth so you know the ailment. Tell me again how it's my fault you can't eat this month. Britney crazy was a decade ago and before social media. Now people take morose selfies without their clothes on for ten thousand Likes and to announce a pre-sale on their Totes Amaze mall tour. Maybe they were doing this curled up naked shit before, but it wasn't on camera for self-promotion. Amanda Bynes lit a dog on fire. Now that was a message.

If anybody bothered to to a study they'd find that people who came up as kid actors tend to hit the internal crazy button around late teens. It's a result of your childhood scrapbook being mostly times mom and dad asked for an increase in their allowance or begged you not to tell anybody what Mr. Hancock did during the after-casting callback. Loose lips sink ships. Also, it takes longer for Hancock to cum. Drugs and alcohol and sex and hating your parents is so 15-17. Like high school but yours is an online school in Santa Barbara that once a year asks your business manager what grades you'd like.

Bella Thorne is either descending into madness or she's perfectly fine and fast becoming super rich. Only the guy fucking her probably knows for sure and there's no way he's telling. Or that he cares. This is a short term assignment and crazy girls are amazing. Use a burner. And a condom.

 


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