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Sam Robeson - April 10, 2017
Bella Hadid sports a fashionable camel toe sponsored by Nike. Their marketing team put her vagina lips in the contract. Centaur asses are the norm now. Instagram mannequins have to look mythical. The camel toe will overtake gigantic asses as the main event soon. The famous Paper Magazine cover featuring Kim Kardashian’s champagne-balancing haunches will look different in five years. That bottle doesn’t know what’s coming.
Hadid entered this world as a Japanese sex robot. She has to be photographed posing as someone working out so as not to be discovered and sent back to the factory. She got the yoga pants slut stroll upgrade. You’re not a millennial celebrity unless you’ve been photographed giving a middle school sex ed lesson. We’re not complaining. Neither is Nike. Girls looking up to Hadid will run out and buy Nike Pro stretch pants so they too can pretend to not know fabric is inside their reproductive organs in order to get attention. This easily could be worse. For men.
Photo credit: Splash News
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